Jeff Greene is the Robin to Larry David’s Batman in the hit HBO show Curb Your Enthusiasm. As Larry’s manager and best friend – and the husband of the indelicate Susie Greene – he finds himself in a fair few funny scrapes. Sometimes, these are down to sheer proximity to the other characters – but Jeff also has his own quiet humor.
Played by Jeff Garlin, Jeff may not be the most obviously funny character in the cast – it is, after all, made up of a wealth of professional comedians – but as well as holding his own against them, he sets up some of the funniest storylines in the series.
9 Jeff Sleeps With Bam Bam – Series 7, Episode 1
It’s well-documented that Jeff isn’t exactly the most faithful husband. In fact, he epitomizes the sleazy manager who sleeps with a lot of women. In the first episode of season 7, Jeff ends up sleeping with Marty Funkhouser’s sister when she tells him she’s bored, and he says, “Anything I can do?”
This whole debacle characterizes Jeff to a T – he gets Larry to cover for him, and it’s Larry who ends up in trouble. But Jeff learns a lesson here: “you can’t make an empty gesture to a Funkhouser.”
8 Jeff Gets Bored On Passover – Series 6, Episode 2
In the infamous Curb episode “The Anonymous Donor,” Jeff admits to being the cause of a questionable stain on Cheryl’s blanket, which almost results in Leon being unfairly blamed and kicked out of the house. Jeff is hilariously blasé about the whole thing, going so far as to ask, “What’s the big deal?”
The best part of the scene is Jeff explaining how the whole thing came to occur: he was bored at their house on Passover. But he’s not a total barbarian – he would “never do it on the high holidays.”
7 Jeff Gets Mistaken For Harvey Weinstein – Series 10, Episode 1
Series 10 of Curb Your Enthusiasm takes place in a modern-day, post-#MeToo world – and the show alludes to the increasingly changed Los Angeles sphere a lot as a result. One of the most memorable references is Jeff being mistaken for Harvey Weinstein at a party he’s hosting.
The scene is great because it’s not overdone – a woman calls Jeff a pig and is quickly corrected by her friend. It’s unexpected, well-executed – and, unfortunately for Jeff Garlin, he actually does look a bit like him.
6 Jeff Sings While Taking Susie To The Airport – Series 10, Episode 9
When Jeff drives his wife Susie to the airport, he can’t hide his glee at her departure. He breaks out into a Tom Waits-esque version of “Oh Hanukkah, Oh, Hanukkah” while dancing with happiness. It’s a seriously great moment of physical comedy and shows Jeff’s lighter side – even if it is at his wife’s expense.
In true Susie style, she’s so suspicious and aggrieved by Jeff’s whimsical display of happiness that she refuses to go on her trip and gets back in the car. Jeff’s crestfallen face, as he’s driving Susie back home, is superb.
5 Jeff And Larry Play Eenie Meenie Miney Mo – Series 5, Episode 5
When their good friend Richard Lewis needs a kidney donor, Jeff and Larry agree to leave it up to fate to decide which of them should donate the organ in a good old-fashioned game of eenie meenie miney mo. An argument ensues when they interpret the result differently, with both Larry and Jeff pointing at each other and yelling, “out goes Y-O-U!”
Susie ultimately settles the debate, point blank refusing to allow Jeff to give a kidney to Richard Lewis – and Jeff definitely doesn’t argue with her. Instead, he shrugs nonchalantly in deference to his wife, leaving Larry to slink out of the room.
4 Jeff Fantasizes About Cheryl – Series 4, Episode 3
When Jeff tells Larry he’s fantasized about his wife, he almost sounds proud to tell him about her starring role. Thinking Larry would be flattered, it turns out he’s actually offended and tells Jeff not to think about Cheryl in that way anymore.
But Jeff is adamant that he “can’t control who pops in” – which Larry soon finds out is true when he finds himself thinking about Susie dressed in a latex catsuit. The whole argument is fraught with ridiculous, hilarious vocabulary and analogies, making it one of Jeff’s funniest scenes.
3 Jeff Lies To Susie About Buying Her A House – Series 9, Episode 4
Larry and Jeff have an unspoken agreement that they’ll cover for each other under any circumstances – including when Susie almost discovers his infidelity. When she demands to know why Jeff has been driving around town with another woman, Jeff reveals that the woman is a realtor (which is true) and that he’s planning to buy Susie another house as a surprise (which is not true).
The nonchalant way Jeff bashes a grapefruit on the counter to make his point adds a little extra humor to the scene – as does Larry’s buoyant description of his best pal as “a beautiful man.”
2 Jeff Offers Susie A Nice Divorce – Series 8, Episode 1
When Larry and Cheryl are going through their divorce, Jeff tells Susie that, should they ever separate, he would split everything 50/50 and take whatever Susie didn’t want. But Susie has other ideas and tells him she has no intention of ever giving him a “nice divorce.”
Jeff sits there in stunned silence while Susie elaborates on all the ways she would extort him if he even thought about divorcing her. His resigned expression during the ensuing silence is priceless and perfectly fitting of a guy who will have a literal lifetime married to Susie.
1 Larry Unveils The Susie Portrait – Series 10, Episode 2
Larry decides to get Susie an enormous portrait of herself for her birthday – and while Susie adores it, Jeff finds it utterly haunting. The portrait shows Susie at her sinister best, scowling and defiant. While Susie admires it, Jeff sits behind her, mouthing “what the f***?” to Larry.
When Susie leaves – to hurl abuse at the poor guy who’s working in their garden – Jeff mutters mournfully, “you f***** me.” Which, to be fair, Larry kind of did.
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