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Meticulously scrubbing floors until they gleam, braving the scorching sun while securing heavy shingles atop a roof, or navigating the relentless chaos of a packed food line–these aren’t the first images that come to mind when we think of leadership. Yet, in these back-breaking roles, resilience, adaptability, and unwavering dedication quietly provide an unassuming alternative view of leadership.
In today’s society, leadership is often equated with titles such as executives, lawyers, and public officials. Yet, some of the most impactful forms of leadership occur in homes nationwide, especially within communities fighting against systemic inequities. While I have taken several leadership courses and even studied under the tutelage of amazing and world-renowned leaders at Harvard, I have learned some of the most remarkable examples of leadership from families facing unfair societal systems–and especially from my mother. These families, often the ones who don’t attend school nights, show impressive strength in adjusting to new situations and making the most of what they have. When we move beyond the mainstream definition of leadership and acknowledge families’ leadership competencies, we begin to honor families’ contributions. Furthermore, by partnering with families in their children’s education and life journeys, we can amplify the impact of their daily, often unnoticed, acts of leadership
Decades of research demonstrate that when educators and families partner, students benefit academically and developmentally. One step school leaders and educators can take to build trust and meaningful partnerships is to recognize and uplift families as leaders, no matter their circumstances. Just as children labeled as at-risk, low-income, or English language learners need encouragement and support, so do their families. When we pour into them, we not only strengthen their confidence but also create a foundation for lasting success.
Leadership rooted in resilience
Families in vulnerable communities often confront challenges that require creative problem-solving and extraordinary courage. Consider the immigrant parents who uproot their lives for better opportunities, or the single caregiver who manages to make ends meet despite limited resources. These actions reflect leadership in its truest sense and embody a commitment to the well-being and future of others, even under strenuous circumstances.
Educators who recognize and value these lived experiences gain a deeper, more authentic understanding of their students and families. This shift allows them to move beyond harmful generalizations and see the full story behind each child. One teacher, for example, once viewed a student as simply having “behavioral challenges.” But by partnering with the family, they uncovered the child’s immense responsibility at home–caring for younger siblings, helping with schoolwork, and preparing meals while their parents worked long hours. With this newfound perspective, the teacher adjusted their approach, creating a more supportive learning environment and fostering a partnership built on empathy and respect.
Understanding how resilient families are can inspire schools to shift how they perceive and interact with caregivers, strengthening their position as partners on a shared mission and not just receivers of information about their children.
Shifting the definition of leadership
Leadership isn’t confined to titles or credentials. It’s about influence, advocacy, and fostering growth in others. Families, particularly in marginalized communities, lead in ways that can reshape educational success for their children. When educators reframe their understanding of leadership to include families, they unlock opportunities for meaningful collaboration.
One principle for educators is to view families as experts on their children. Teachers are skilled at curriculum and pedagogy, but parents understand their children’s strengths, motivations, and challenges in ways that can inform classroom strategies. When teachers work with families to design education plans, they create better lessons that empower their students’ real lives. When teachers and families work together as partners, they develop stronger relationships and create better personalized student support.
Another way to elevate family leadership is by recognizing cultural wealth. Many families bring rich traditions, values, and skills that can be assets in schools. For example, a parent leading a school workshop on their cultural heritage can inspire pride in students and broaden perspectives among peers. Education settings that celebrate family participation help students and teachers understand different ways of thinking and create inclusive learning spaces.
Practical strategies for educators
To build stronger educator-family relationships, here are five practices schools can adopt to foster trust and mutual respect with families:
- Create genuine opportunities for connection: Move beyond parent-teacher conferences focusing solely on academic metrics. Before we get to the “business” of school, try creating events where families, educators, and students just come together because they are part of the same school. Then, throughout the year, host family forums, listening sessions, or workshops where families are intentionally invited to help shape school policies and culture. This approach moves away from one-way communication toward equal partnership.
- Acknowledge and honor family roles: Small actions, like sending personalized notes about a student’s progress or recognizing family contributions at school events, signal that educators value caregivers as essential partners. Taking a moment to text, call, or email a parent about their child’s success creates deep trust between the school and the family.
- Design flexible engagement options: Some families cannot go to in-person events because they work long hours or have transportation barriers. Organizing virtual sessions, offering multilingual support, and providing access to childcare services let more caregivers participate in school activities.
- Incorporate lived experiences into curriculum: Including families in curriculum development or sharing student community experiences makes learning more meaningful. Teaching resources that feature elements of resilience and cultural pride help students feel more confident about who they are.
- Focus on dignified collaboration: Effective partnerships thrive on mutual respect. Educators can empower families by providing them with tools to navigate educational systems while seeking their expertise on how to best support students. For instance, schools can organize workshops explaining school policies while soliciting family feedback on classroom practices.
The ripple effect of empowering families
Educators who support family leadership positively impact students beyond the school day. Students develop confidence when their families’ work receives proper recognition. Meanwhile, educators learn more about their students’ lives, which helps them teach better. Collaboration turns schools into high-quality learning spaces that offer equitable opportunities to everyone.
One story to remember is that of a teacher working with a family from another country. The parents started helping at school even though their limited English initially made them nervous. With encouragement, they began leading an initiative to introduce a bilingual reading program, which not only benefited their child but ultimately enriched the broader school community. This partnership underscored how trust and empowerment can transform both individual lives and collective outcomes.
Redefining success through relationships
Nelson Mandela once said, “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”
But to truly harness this power, we must recognize that leadership isn’t confined to titles–it also lives in homes with families and caregivers who navigate unfair systems with resilience and determination. Schools thrive when they embrace relationships as the foundation of learning, honoring families as essential leaders in their children’s education.
Every child deserves an education system that sees them as more than test scores and sees their families as more than just attendees at school events. Instead, they should be recognized for their potential, perseverance, and the community that uplifts them. When educators and families stand together, we don’t just improve academic outcomes–we build a legacy of opportunity that lasts for generations.
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