Presidential Debate Memes So We Can Laugh to Keep From Crying

Last night’s presidential debate certainly lived up to and even exceeded everyone’s expectations for predictable absurdity, ridiculous commentary, and a bountiful content harvest across social media. Personally, I can’t even confirm if I learned anything about either candidate specifically, but it was illuminating to see the side effects of both Ivermectin and Adderall in action.

As your humble meme dea— … pharmacist, allow me to provide you with the flight of your life through this sampling of crowdsourced content, which best encapsulates last night’s experience:

It’s important to remember to come prepared with the essentials in situations like this. The Kamala Harris prayer candle is a nice touch, as is the pulse oximeter. No comments on the hammer.

Most of the memes about last night really boiled down to this:

But let’s get into the steaming patty of last night’s shit sandwich:

In a brand-new sentence in the history of the English language, Trump accused Harris of wanting “to do transgender operations on illegal aliens that are in prison.” Harris looked both amused and flabbergasted at this, mirroring our collective expressions to the former president and convicted felon’s Mad Libs-aligned conservative word salad that probably elicited the most rewinds in live television history.

Within seconds of Trump’s nonsensical utterings, the internet was ablaze with memes about transgender aliens of all shapes and sizes, proving that they aren’t exactly a novel concept … they hate to hear it.

It is entirely possible that Trump lifted the quote from a scrapped Lana Del Rey EP if we’re being serious, though.

Another element of the debate that took the internet by storm was when Trump kept peddling that in the town of Springfield, Ohio, Haitian immigrants were eating local residents’ dogs and cats, a racist claim that has been rigorously debunked. Debate moderator David Muir fact-checked him immediately, saying that Springfield’s city manager shared that there were no credible reports validating such allegations despite what Trump said he “saw on TV.”

If you somehow missed out on this gold mine, some geniuses among us discovered the absolute best way to play it back:

What if these two met in horny prison for transgender aliens???

And now this is also stuck in my head! At least Azealia Banks knows to only futz around with her own dead cat rather than her neighbors’ … 👀

Of course, I can’t meme the life out of this debate without nodding to Trump’s incessant whining about “post-birth baby execution”s … I mean, late-term abortions. Again, the debate moderators quickly set the record straight, informing Trump that not a single state allows for “termination” after birth. Harris on the other hand (per Trump’s mind’s eye, at least) …

Note that this ridiculous rhetoric took place within 10 minutes of the debate beginning …

As funny as the nonsense from the debate might be, some have chimed in with clever but sobering reality checks.

Also, can I get an iota of concern for all the Afghan Abduls right now?

In between all the ahistorical and made-up drivel, Trump did clarify that he has “concepts of a plan” regarding American healthcare policies and access … Which should instill a lot of faith in anyone who relies on insulin, right?

You know who else had “concepts of a plan?”

Alright, alright … I should at least get some digs into Harris after all of this. After sounding like a broken record about her and Biden “working around the clock” to secure a ceasefire and hostage return deal in Gaza, it’s become clear that this must be the metric of time she’s referring to …

And anyone hoping for some attention to environmental protections over the next four years should manage their expectations:

While it was dismally entertaining, I really did learn almost nothing policy-wise in those 90 minutes … Harris’s expressions mirror my thoughts on how this could have just been an email.

But at the end of the day, and perhaps the end of the world, at least we have each other:

I’ll be needing some feelings of community come November, so keep up the good work everyone, and try to hold it together with me! 😭