I am already sick of “spring” (such as it is). The spring season officially began on March 19 — seven long, cold weeks ago.
I love this great city, but its weather fails miserably. The only thing I hate more than Chicago winters are Chicago springs. It is said that our weather is prized for its four seasons. Balderdash! There are two seasons in Chicago — summer and cold.
We have suffered through chilly-to-cold-to-freezing days and nights, starting back in October. Last Halloween, it snowed. Fast-forward to March 22, three days after the “first day of spring,” when the low temperature at O’Hare International Airport was 31 degrees, with snow, according to the National Weather Service.
Last Tuesday, the Chicago area was treated to rainstorms, tornado warnings and hail. Wednesday was a beauty, with brilliant sunshine and a high of 79. (That was still not balmy enough for me, but it was getting there.)
The next day, alas, the bottom fell out. Thursday’s high temperature was two dozen degrees lower, according to weather forecasters.
I am a child of summer. As my longtime readers know, I am unhappy unless the temps top 80 degrees. That means that I get to enjoy about 2 ½ months of consistently warm weather.
Growing up in Chicago, I suffered mightily. Every Easter Sunday, my mother and I would go shopping for the perfect outfit. A chiffony pastel dress, black patent leather slippers and dainty new straw purse.
My light spring coat never cut it. Freezing going to, at and leaving church. And there were plenty of Mother’s Day celebrations when I was still wearing my winter coat.
Chicagoans have long complained about our brutal winters. Climate change is changing that. This season, the city enjoyed one of the mildest winters in recent memory.
Spring, however, never comes. Take this conversation on Reddit, the social networking site, from a few months ago about “snow and cold weather in Chicago.”
Someone inquired: “I’ve been living in Chicago for almost three years, but still can’t say anything about the winter weather here. A few weeks ago the temperature was in the 20s and it seems it’s gonna be close to 51 next week. Are the cold days over?”
EmmyLou205 replied: “‘Are the cold days over?’ Oh honey, I got some news for you…”
“It has snowed in May before. Just when you think it’s over it all comes back,” wrote YavielTheElf.
MikeFightsBears offered a chronology of Chicago weather: “Fool’s Spring (you are here) …Second Winter…Spring of Deception…Third Winter…The Pollening…Actual Spring.”
“Actual Spring,” from my experience, arrives around mid-June, just in time for summer.
Yes, last winter was extraordinarily mild, the meteorologists said. Yes, and now, spring is paying for it.
April showers bring May flowers, you say? Those poor blossoms are freezing their patooties off.
“February’s record high temperatures and the overall warm winter spurred unseasonably early spring blooms in the Chicago region, with some trees and plants flowering more than a month ahead of schedule,” according to scientists at the Morton Arboretum in west suburban Lisle.
“If a late freeze hits, trees and plants that flowered too early have a higher risk of damage,” Christy Rollinson, a forest ecologist at the arboretum, said in a March news release. “Some elm and maple trees flowered in late February. These trees typically bloom in April across the Chicago area, so this is very early.”
You would think that the weather gods would give us a break. Here we are in May, and the outdoor cafes sit empty, except for the brave chilled patrons.
The tulips are swaying up and down North Michigan Avenue, bursting with color, and bending to a sharp wind. My gardener pals are digging deep — into the cold, hard ground.
My full-length down coat still awaits me by the door, accompanied by earmuffs.
Why do you think students flock to Florida for spring break? It’s the only place in the nation with beach weather in the spring. I dash down there every chance I get, even in the summer. You can’t beat the heat.
The meteorologists are always way ahead of the game, telling you more about what is going to happen in five days than what the weather is like in the grim present. Cold.
Still, I remain in my beloved, windy, “all-season” city.
Laura Washington is a political commentator and longtime Chicago journalist. Her columns appear in the Tribune each Monday. Write to her at LauraLauraWashington@gmail.com.
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