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Picture this: You’re with a group of friends at a Michelin-starred temple of cuisine scrutinizing the oversized leather-bound wine list for the perfect pour to start off dinner. Remaining conscious of your dining companions’ cost expectations on a shared check, you find a trio of appellation village white Burgundies in the $110 to $150 range and ask the tight-suited sommelier which bottle he thinks would go best with the oysters you’re about to order. You already have an idea which one you are getting, but he’s standing there, so why not let him do his job? Sliding his finger down the page to just about $500 (while practically obscuring the name of the wine he is suggesting) he intones, “Those are very good choices, sir, but I would recommend this one.”
We don’t have to just picture it; it happened to us, and we know we are not alone. Friends of ours celebrating their 25th anniversary at one of the city’s top restaurants a few years back put themselves in the hands of the sommelier when choosing a special bottle of wine and when the check arrived, they were shocked that, “Don’t worry, I have the perfect bottle,” translated to almost $400 before tax and gratuity. Rather than sharing the joy of a wonderful celebratory dinner, the only sentiment one of them could conjure was, “It was horrible. I’m never going back there again, and I will tell everyone I know.” Discussing this article with our editor, he relayed the experience of a friend who visited a hot new downtown chef-driven restaurant with two bottles of his own and paid $200 corkage on each. Despite that fee and the $800 he dropped on another bottle, the somm continually pressured him to buy more wine, and when he did offer to buy another, the somm tried multiple times to upsell him to another $800 to $1,000 bottle. Also, during the course of the meal, the somm told him multiple times to “take care of the staff” and even checked the bill to see what he had tipped.
This flies in the face of great hospitality. Having both worked on restaurant floors earlier in our careers, we have a great deal of respect for the hardworking individuals who bring their knowledge, experience, and caring to their patrons and who may earn a good deal of their income in tips. But we draw the line when bullying tactics may intimidate diners into spending far more than they had planned on a bottle of wine while being made to feel powerless in the process. Sommeliers, like doctors, have an unfair advantage when dealing with the public: They possess a specialized body of knowledge that may render even the most confident person mute when presented with an unfamiliar series of options.
Even their colleagues are fed up with this behavior. Grace Newport, wine and beverage director at San Francisco’s Epic Steak, noticed co-workers at a previous job who constantly pressured guests into exceeding their budgets. “They were perceived with distrust from co-workers, and guests appeared uncomfortable during these interactions,” she says. “On rare occasions, the guests would request a new service person.” Irene Miller, wine director at Le Coucou in New York, tells us about an incident with a colleague at an upscale Italian eatery she worked at: “The sommelier completely misread the table and was pairing wines like Masseto and Conterno, with enormous price tags. When they got the bill, they almost died!” In this case, unlike with our friends, the clients complained to the staff, not their social network, and the restaurant removed the cost of the wine from the bill.
“Oh, we thought you said ‘send me a pour on the house,’ but you said ‘send me to the poor house.’”
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That said, if you are feeling coerced or just want to avoid an awkward situation, you can head it off by stating a budget and sticking with it. If you don’t lay your cards on the table, the wine professional may offer a few leading questions to figure out what you are willing to spend. “I am very forward about this to guests when selling wine,” says Alex Cuper, wine director at Chicago’s El Che and Brasero. “I have run into it too many times where someone describes something and I have the perfect bottle and bring it to them and it’s well above their budget. I ask ‘Do you have a price point that you’re comfortable with tonight just so I don’t pull something that would make you uncomfortable?’ Sometimes people are great and give a range, other times they say ‘something reasonable’ or ‘it doesn’t matter,’ at which point I try to get a little bit more out of them.” Cuper, who has a list that runs from $80 to $1,200, offers a wide variety of options, so he doesn’t have to look too hard to find a suitable bottle within striking range of the proposed amount. “I keep a rule of thumb: About $25 over that budget seems fair to offer them, especially if it is the perfect bottle.”
We’re all feeling squeezed all the time, from tip screens at our favorite coffee joint to recommended gratuities on already-exorbitant food costs, so being pushed upward on a bottle of wine sometimes feels like the last straw. Dining out should be a pleasurable experience, and the majority of sommeliers are there to ensure that it is, but despite the skills many of them possess, we don’t know a single one who is an actual mind reader. “I typically ask a few questions to get an idea: what region, varietal, and then price point,” says Cameron Nadler, the New York-based wine director at Bond Hospitality, which operates private club Zero Bond and Italian restaurant Sartiano’s. “If it seems like the type of interaction where you shouldn’t bring up a monetary value in conversation, I typically give them a few options in different price points.” Nadler, with a list featuring bottles as expensive as $9,000 and a high-flying clientele, has a lot more room for negotiation. “I typically would go anywhere from $150 to $300 more than what they tell me they are willing to spend for one or two of the bottles,” he says. “I will definitely give them some options in their price range but it’s always nice to offer something a little higher end if they want to try something new.”
“The profit of the restaurant comes down to alcohol, plain and simple,” Miller says. “There’s only so much that people can eat, and therefore spend on food, but the limits are off when it comes to wine.” However, she is not in the practice of making Le Coucou’s clients regret their wine choices, adding, “We actually really like it when you give us a budget. It saves everyone time. And don’t be bullied into paying for something that you don’t want.” Rather than try to upsell, most professionals think it makes sense to offer a reasonable substitute. “I always have a variety of alternative wines that would fit a certain request. For example, if we have a guest who is requesting a bottle of Napa Cabernet Sauvignon for $60, they won’t find one on our list that fits their criteria,” Newport says. “In this instance, I would suggest a Cabernet Sauvignon from elsewhere in California that will fit into that range, while being consistent in style with its Napa Valley counterparts.”
When things do go wrong and guests feel they’ve spent more than they wanted, it’s usually up to the beverage director to straighten things out and make sure it doesn’t happen again. “Often a guest has no problem spending more if the experience is worth it, but if the guest does not have a pleasant experience, I try to find where the breakdown in service happened and coach my teammate on how to read the guest better and provide solutions for them and the guest,” says Harley Carbery, corporate wine director of Station Casinos in Las Vegas, which operates a variety of restaurants including T-Bones Chophouse & Lounge and Blue Ribbon Sushi & Grill. Carbery is right when he points out that most sommeliers get into the industry because they truly love wine, winemaking, and the experiences it creates for guests, and he notes that the pushy type doesn’t usually last very long. “Guests are very savvy, and we don’t take that for granted; they can spot when someone is being disingenuous,” he tells us.
Carbery offers extremely sound advice: “Don’t be afraid to speak up. The sommelier may know more about the wine they are trying to sell but you, as the diner, you are the most important person in the restaurant.” You shouldn’t have to hold your ground when ordering dinner, but by knowing what you want to spend and calling out the upsell when the upsell is served, your restaurant experience should be pleasant for all and not leave a bad taste in your mouth.
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